A Sad Day

Our English labrador retriever arrived at our house nine years ago this month. Sometimes she was exasperating, and sometimes she was so funny we laughed out loud at her. 

Zoe was a strange dog, not very smart, but she reminded me of the friend who seems "not quite right," but everyone takes care of because she doesn't appear to be able to take care of herself and the party isn't the same unless she's there. Have you ever had a friend like that? 

Every day when we fed the dogs, we had to say, "It's for you! It's for you!" before Zoe would eat. If we didn't say it, she would look at us, wag her tail, and patiently wait for us to remember that she wouldn't eat until we gave her permission.

As I said, Zoe wasn't very smart, but she was very sweet, and she was ours. I loved her even when she annoyed me--maybe because she annoyed me. I loved her when she got under my desk or the dinner table during a storm; I loved her even when she had been in the neighbor's trash. I said mean things to her, but I loved her and we cleaned up the mess. 

So I was sad when Zoe died this morning. I will miss seeing her trotting up the street on her daily exercise route. I will miss chasing her away from the farmers' market, hoping no one realized that she was my dog because she wouldn't mind me and go home. I will miss her twice-yearly inevitable skunking that stunk up the yard and sometimes the house (well, I won't miss the smell, but I'll miss the regularity with which it happened). Mostly, I will miss the unconditional love that Zoe gave us. She was stinky and annoying and I yelled at her sometimes, but she never acted like she cared. She loved me anyway.

We buried her under the hemlocks today and said a few words in memory of her because we loved her.

To Zoe

Our funny, friendly cat-dog

who couldn't catch

and wouldn't fetch--

whose only trick was slipping through our legs to escape,

our traveling trickster

who trotted toward the trash

but wiggled and jiggled and panted and licked

her way into our hearts.

We'll miss saying

"It's for you! It's for you!"

You were a good dog, girl.